As Perfect As It Could Be.
Posted on Mon May 11th, 2020 @ 6:44pm by Lieutenant Peregrine Trevena
"Computer, end Chief Counsellor's Log."
Peregrine leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She reviewed quickly all that she had put into her logs. It was good. She'd covered the relevant pieces without being subjective. Those who came to see her deserved that.
She opened her eyes, pushed her unruly hair back behind her ears, and stood up. Stretching as she walked, she headed for the window to look out over the view. She'd had a couple of choices of offices on the main sickbay deck, and had opted for the one with the bigger windows. Less space overall, but a view out over the edge of the ship. She even had a small windowseat, which she used quite often during drop in hours.
She watched the stars slip slowly past.
Once again, she asked herself if she had done the right thing to walk away from her partners. They'd been so wrapped up in each other, the last couple of years. it had been hard to be the person on the outside of the joy they had, knowing that she was the old, stodgy one who had always been there. Still, every now and then, she had a pang of sadness. No, not sadness, she corrected herself. Wistfulness. A pang of wistfulness that she had not been able to remain with them. That they'd not seen how sad and lonely she was. That she had not been heard in a house of over communicators.
But the opportunity to do this was far too exciting. To go out beyond all they knew? To see the things she was going to see? How could she not do that? When she'd brought it up to her partners, they'd both looked shocked. Had gotten almost to the point of belittling her for wanting to go on this mission.
"But who will look after the house?" "You can't go, you can't do that sort of thing." "You're simply not good enough for that, and besides, we need you." "Seriously Per, what do you think you'll be able to do if you go on this one way mission to hell? You think you're up to it? Why, you can't even manage to clean things without our help."
Oh yes. Her expression soured. They needed her to be the solid one. The one who didn't make waves, and who didn't bring chaos into the home. The one who was always there when they had broken hearts. Why not, when you had a counsellor at home, turn to that person for all one's emotional aches and pains.
She grinned, and tousled her hair.
Oh it had felt so good when she'd walked out and left them standing with their mouths open in surprise. She'd had a company come in and pack her belongings.
She'd walked away from the pain and the loss, and the ongoing numbing of being her own self.
And walked towards the unknown.
It was, Peregrine decided, as she turned away from the window and headed for the door out of her office, about as perfect as it could be. Time to go see what trouble she could get into visiting the recreation lounge.